


Slashy Things in Small Packages: my collected AotB drabbles

by ideserveyou



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Drabble Collection, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideserveyou/pseuds/ideserveyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin. All of my AotB drabbles in one handy package. Because I am too lazy to rate and tag them all separately...</p><p>Starting with the very first drabble I ever wrote, shortly after I discovered what a drabble actually was!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One More Time

One cloak spread over a cold bed; one axe on the chair beside it. One blond head on the pillow; one bitter sigh, one tear falling.

(One cup of mead too many, one pretty girl passing by, one rash word. One dark face turned hard as stone. One stinging rebuke, one touch withdrawn, one door slammed by an angry hand.) 

One heart breaking. 

One more time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

One creak of the bedroom door; one small sound as a foot stumbles among the rushes. One gentle hand on a shaking shoulder. One gasp of astonished joy; one fierce embrace. 

One more time.


	2. Severed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unpleasant episode in three mercifully short parts

**I The Hostage**

I am alone in the dark. A chill draught torments my naked body; my feet are bound.

My right hand – my axe-hand – feels wet: blood still seeps from the stump of my little finger.

A gift for you, they said; bait to lure you into their trap. And there are still nine – no, ten – more they can send.

They all laughed.

 

I heard the jaws of the shears snick together.

 

These Picts will stop at nothing in their desire to vanquish you. 

My Arthur, I am so afraid that you will not come.

And still more afraid that you will.

 

**II The Shaven Man**

The last Pictish swine chokes out his life as I kick the prison door down.

 

My Kai, maimed and bleeding, lying in his own filth.

I kneel and cut his bonds. He looks up.

 

‘You came.’

‘Of course.’

‘The guards?’

‘Dead.’

‘And the others?’

I smile. ‘Chasing me through the forest. Into an ambush.’

‘But you are here.’

‘A decoy. With my horse, my cloak, my shield –’

He reaches up and touches my shaven head.

‘What happened here?’

‘ – And my hair.’

 

He is laughing and crying as I lift him and take him outside, where Llud is waiting.

 

**III The Father**

Sleep on. You are safe now. 

There are worse things to lose than a finger – a whole hand, for instance.

Or a son; or a brother.

 

Poor Arthur. I will never forget his face when he opened that little stinking package. The knife left his hand without a second thought, to strike the Pictish messenger down.

He screamed in anguish, when I dropped the thing into the fire.

 

He held you in his arms all the way home.

As he is still holding you now.

I pull the blanket over both of you, and steal softly out of the room.


	3. No Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai doesn't know how to explain what he means

You stand beside your white horse, upright and unspeaking.

My heart is breaking. I meant no offence.

I could not help myself.

 

Silently, unexpectedly, my mouth took yours. And now I cannot speak, to tell you what I want…

 

Your cloak is wrapped tight around you.

 

I want to unfurl that cloak and spread it on the turf.

I want to spread you on top of it and myself on top of you.

I want…

 

You look round; my hardness speaks for itself.

Silently, unexpectedly, you smile.

Next moment you are wrapped tight around me.

 

I want for nothing now.


	4. Two Halves of the Almond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A phrase from Rosemary Sutcliff's 'The Eagle of the Ninth' could equally well describe Kai and Arthur...

When I think the barrel is dry, you help me to fill it.

When I believe the battle is lost, you help me to win it.

And when I feel my worth is small, you help me to see it.

 

Little brother, without you I would despair.

*****

 

When my burden is heavy, your strength helps me bear it.

When my heart is sad and cold, your laughter warms it.

And when the sky is at its darkest, your smile lights it.

 

Big brother, without you I would be nothing.

 

Give me your hand. And take mine. Stay with me forever.


	5. A Perfect World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckets at the ready...

In a perfect world

 

I would bring soft silks and sleek furs to wrap your beautiful body

Not rough homespun and greasy sheepskins; 

And delicate meats and rich wines to fill your tender mouth

Not coarse bannock and rustic mead.

 

And I would wash your golden hair in buttermilk and chamomile 

And afterwards comb it by the fireside 

Not dunk it in the chilly river and give it a careless shake, to blow in the wind…

 

It grieves me that I cannot make this world perfect for you –

 

Then you smile at me.

 

You seem to think I already have.


	6. The River, Take Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My multi-chapter story 'The River', cut down to a drabble. Now why did I bother writing the other 16,900 words?

‘No!’ 

Accused by Arthur, Kai stumbled into the flooded river. 

 

On the cold beach – invading Saxon longboats. 

 

Rescued; uncovered; tortured; shamed. 

A narrow escape through a brave girl’s death. 

 

A long journey homeward; a hard choice. 

Cerdig an unlikely ally. 

 

A desperate plan; a muddy battle; Arthur’s knife felled Kai’s enemy. 

 

They won. 

Kai hated being a hero. 

 

At last the bedroom door closed, and Arthur knew. 

‘You still want me…’ Kai said, wonderingly. 

It was good to be home. 

 

A treaty signed. 

 

A new start. 

 

Moonlight on the riverbank. 

‘Can we –?’ Arthur asked, trembling. 

Kai replied simply ‘Yes…’


	7. You're Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the members of the 'arthur_britons' LJ community

Welcome to the Longhouse.

 

Whether you found us by long searching or chance discovery: you’re home.

Whether young, old, lifetime follower or recent convert: we’re glad to meet you.

Whether you prefer sweet or bitter, rich or plain: feast on what we offer.

Whether you wish to laugh, weep, or learn: enjoy the company.

Whether silent lurker, addicted writer, occasional commentator, or dedicated researcher: there are others here of like mind.

And whether you love Arthur, or Kai, or both of them together: share the love. We love them too.

 

Welcome to the Longhouse. 

Where the barrel is never dry.


	8. The Medallion Was Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened just after the end of episode 'The Prisoner'...

I am drowning in my grief.

 

 

Arthur's hand on my shoulder pulls me back.

I did not see him come; my sight was blurred by smoke and tears.

‘This is yours,’ he says.

He holds it up, round and shining; presses it into my hand.

 

Our fingers meet.

I see him clearly now.

We draw a breath at the same moment.

 

I reach up to put the chain around his neck.

My gift, given again in love and gratitude.

 

‘But this is yours,’ he says, fingering it.

I shake my head.

‘You too saved me from drowning,’ I tell him.


	9. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving Kai is so very easy, and also so very hard...

I’m watching you…

 

 

the way you smile at him

the way you put your hand on his shoulder

the way you take care of him

 

 

I’m watching you…

 

the way your mouth moves

the way your hair blows in the wind

the way your body fills your breeches

 

 

I’m wanting you…

 

to smile at me that way

to put your hand on my shoulder

to be there to protect me

 

 

I’m watching you loving him…

 

it breaks my heart

but still I have to watch you do it

over and over and over again

 

 

So I press the pause button…


	10. Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode: 'The Treaty'. Kai worries about how the others see him.

Hungry for peace, we break bread together, Celts and Saxons.

An exchange: your wheaten loaf for our barley bannock.

 

To me, it all tastes good.

 

But on either side of me, all repent of their bargain.

Crumbs are spat, crusts and insults hurled: revulsion, boar’s droppings, flyspawn.

 

Is that what I am?

 

Which side have I betrayed, by eating the other’s bread?

Am I now an enemy of both? Am I too a revulsion?

 

Would these Celts be calling me evil names, were I not brother to their leader?

And would you, Saxon, then embrace me and call me brother?


	11. In a Word...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One word can have many meanings.

‘Oh.’   
Was that all you could say? 

I climbed the mountains for you;   
fought a battle for you;   
brought you spoils of war, and laid them before you with my own hands. 

… 

Could you not see that none of these was my real gift?   
That I was laying before you – not horses and weapons and gold – but my own heart?   
Was that worth no more than a word? 

… 

I reached out for you;   
risked my all for you;   
brought my mouth to yours, and made you hard for me with my own hands. 

And all you could say was:   
_‘Oh…’_


	12. In Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai still feels bad after having to punish Arthur. Episode: 'The Slaves'.

_I know._

That’s what you said. 

Your bare chest, goosefleshed with apprehension, pressed against the chill rock. 

There was no time for more. 

No time for me to argue. 

But too much time for me to think, and feel. 

As the lash cut through – first air, then skin – and then my very soul – 

Your attempted absolution rang in my ears, louder than your cries. 

And I was angry: with them, and with myself – and with you. 

I will bear this guilt and shame to my dying day. 

And you will think you understand. 

When in truth 

_You have no idea._


	13. What For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silly fluff!

‘We’re going to ride a race, Kai.’  
‘What for?’  
‘So I can prove my horse is faster.’  
( _So I can let you win, just to see your brilliant smile._ )

‘We’re going down to the river, Kai.’  
‘What for?’  
‘So we can wash off this mud before we eat.’  
( _So I can look at your arse, without anyone noticing._ )

‘We’re going to check the defences, Kai.’  
‘What for?’  
‘So we know we’re safe from enemy attack.’  
( _So I can have you to myself for an hour or two._ )

‘I’m going to share your bed tonight… Kai?’  
‘I never said a word...’


	14. I'm Telling You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pass the bucket again...

Many things I never told you, my Arthur.

So you do not know that mine was the hand that held yours through the long nights of fever, as you moaned and raved; mine the voice that made them keep searching, when we thought the wolves had taken you; mine the eyes that watched over you in the moonlight, as you wept for the dead of your first lost battle.

I would have you know that mine is the heart that loves you, more truly than any other.

But perhaps I do not need words, to tell you that…

Come here.


	15. A Little Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Kai have had a bit too much mead.

‘Ssshh.’

‘Ssshh yourself. And watch out for the –’

‘Ow!’

‘You always forget to duck.’

‘You little Celtic people, you –hic– build your doors too small.’

‘Too small for clumsy great Saxons who can’t take their mead. I suppose you’ll be telling me next that we brew it too strong.’

‘No… s’just perfect… a lovely little drink …’

‘For goodness’ sake, get over here and get into bed before you –’

‘Ow!’

‘–fall over anything else.’

‘Little brother, I love you…’

‘Less of the “little”, please.’

‘Ah, yes, I see what you mean. Now _that’s_ not little at all…’


	16. The Whole Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both canon series summarised in a drabble.

I watched you die.

You sent me away.

We fought with blades; angry words cut deeper.

My weapons pleased you.

I staked everything: lost.

I taught your enemy; you taught the preacher.

My betrothed betrayed us.

I flayed my heart.

Strangers helped save you; you kept faith, saved me.

I could have fought him, but never her.

My friend, I mourned. My sister? Perhaps.

I pretended to dream. You pretended to love.

I was abandoned, afraid.

Our father's friend cost dearly.

We fought and won.

Great king; great victory.

We broke bread with our enemies; she broke both our hearts.


	17. Cause for Contrition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode: 'Enemies and Lovers'. Arthur has dealt with Goda, but there are some things he can't tell Kai...  
> Warning: there is blood!

So… your mind was changed,and though it was not I who changed it, I am glad.

But I paid a high price.

You dried my tears; washed the marks from my face; yet I will never be clean.

I will never tell you how she cried. How the knife sounded as it went in, and stuck a little. How bright the blood, against her white throat.

She gasped, and looked me in the eye, and said: _I betrayed him._

I thought she spoke of Morcant.

But then her last words, choked and broken:

_Do not make the same mistake…_


	18. The Beginning

Title: The Beginning  
Pairing: Arthur/Kai  
Summary: In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of…  
Rating: Mature. There is sex and violence and a lot of bad language. Oh, and a sheep  
Warnings: Bestiality, blood, minor character death, gluttony  
Spoilers: Actually, it’s two young men and they fancy each other. Even more than they fancy the sheep  
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, I am making no profit, and the sheep's family promised not to sue  
Length: 100 words  
Notes: I have drunk more mead tonight than the three of them have in this story

The End.


	19. If Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Llud watches his boys during that lovely little scene at the end of episode: 'The Treaty'

You looked at him just as his mother used to: your face pinched with anguish, as though his pain hurt you still more.

As though you longed to pull him close and comfort him – 

As I would, this instant, if I thought he would let me.

He would not meet your eyes; but yours never left him, as you tried in vain to help, and pulled the Saxon’s knife from his belt.

Dear son, if only it were so easy to pull the knife from your heart – 

As I would, in an instant, if I thought you would let me.


	20. Under the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Yuletide drabble.

‘Enough,’ Arthur says.

Kai rests his axe; helps Arthur gather their harvest.

Holly boughs, bright with berries, to deck the Longhouse for Yuletide.

‘First star.’ Kai points. ‘Make a wish.’

‘I wish we’d found some mistletoe too.’

‘And I wish…’

‘Granted.’ Arthur takes Kai’s mouth with his.

They break apart; Kai looks up into the boughs above them, and laughs softly.

‘What?’

‘There’s mistletoe in this tree,’ Kai says.

‘So there is …’

When they break apart again, the first snowflakes are falling; dark clouds hide the stars in the sky.

But a thousand stars are shining in Arthur’s heart.


	21. A Hard Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has more than one battle to fight.

It was a hard fight, brother.

The ground was bitter with black frost; the enemy closed in like wolves, howling and deadly, filled with bloodlust.

Three to one we were outnumbered, already battle-wearied and scarred, yet shoulder to shoulder we stood firm, and by the gods’ mercy we prevailed.

Six comrades we buried; of our foes, we piled and burned many times that number.

That night in our makeshift camp, you whimpered in dreams and pressed against me, innocently seeking my body’s warmth under our thin blanket.

Your hair was soft against my cheek.

It was a hard fight, brother.


	22. You Saw How I Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to a wonderful line added by trepkos in the course of beta-reading my 'Wolves in Winter' story.

You saw how I was, that night. The first time we…

The first time.

I was so afraid. No, not of you, never of you, nor of the thing we were about to do, but of letting you see…

Llud raised us both to show no fear; to be strong, to defend ourselves well.

But I had no defences against you.

You saw me stripped, body and soul.

Saw me open to you, trembling, pleading.

Watched as I let you in, bit by bit; watched as I broke apart, my strength vanquished and my shield shattered.

Locked your gaze with mine as I let go and fell.

And you were kind afterwards, and said nothing of my weakness, when I clung to you and laid my head on your shoulder and sobbed like a helpless child.

You saw how I was, that first time, and it has been the same every time since, except that I have not let you see.

But perhaps now, now that we are equal in this, now that I have held you close and dried your tears – perhaps the next time, I will be able to let you see me as I truly am.

Yours.


	23. blue

over my head, bright sky, a cloudless curve

embellished by a single swallow’s flight

beneath my feet, blossoms open wide to the heavens, speedwells and milkwort

tickled by the wings of butterflies

behind me, home

the haze of woodsmoke still clinging in my hair

the little ripples on the lake-shore now almost lost among the birdsong

before my eyes, the distance

misty hills, azure sea

 

and by my side, my brother, my friend, my king

my everything

 

his steady gaze holding my past, my present, my future

his love encompassing my whole world

his eyes the bluest thing of all


	24. Slow to Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode: The Penitent Invader. Some wounds are slow to mend...

_An angry wound,_ Llud said, heating the stone. _It must be burned clean._

_Would that I had not seen –_

_I had to turn my head away._

_Then, I was kind; later, I too was angry._

_How dare Herward demand of you while you suffered?_

_How dare the Painted Ones set blade to your flesh?_

_How dare you almost leave me?_

_There was no blaze of love, to burn me clean; no wise father here to heal me._

_My fury festered, biting deep._

_Would that I had not said –_

_And now you turn your head away._

_Are you still angry too?_


	25. A New Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> written for a challenge entitled 'New Beginnings'

The sun rises swift and bright over the lake as we draw water to wash our filthy hands.

Our night’s work was hard, and bloody: a desperate fight, a matter of life and death and the future of all my people.

But such a victory we won, my heart, as has not been seen in this village in many a year.

This night brought us spoils of war: one we will share, the other we will keep to ourselves.

A newborn foal crumpled and steaming in the stable straw.

And a new light dawning swift and bright in your eyes.


	26. Today I Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another 'New Beginnings' challenge entry. Episode: 'The Pupil'. Little Kai has just met Llud for the first time...

My life is ending.

 

In the grey rain, Father lies still and silent.

He will never smile again in this life.

 

In the burned homestead, the stranger mourns his son.

I wait, still and silent, for him to look up.

 

He sees me, and shouts harsh words.

His sword is over my head, but I am not afraid.

 

I will face my death like a man.

As I enter the golden hall Father will be proud, and smile at me.

 

The stranger’s eyes meet mine.

He smiles at me, and the sword falls in the mud.

 

My new life begins.


	27. Let's Start Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slightly drunk Kai tells Arthur's future.

‘That was so good, my Kai. I missed you.’

‘I’ve only been away a week…’

‘Felt like years.’

‘Alright, I admit, I missed you too.’

‘Come here to me, my heart – yes, like that. Hold me.’

‘Lie there, lie easy, and I’ll predict your future.’

‘I didn’t know you were a soothsayer.’

‘Only when I’m drunk.’

‘Well, visionary? What does my future hold?’

‘Let me see… You’re going to hold my hand and fall asleep while that candle’s still burning.’

‘Wrong.’

‘How so?’

‘Well… _this_ isn’t your hand. I’m wide awake. And the candle’s not the only thing still burning…’


	28. This Dark Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode: 'The Gift of Life'. Kai has gone to the Saxon village, and Arthur is worried...

I lie wakeful, doubting my decision, though I could have made no other.

Cheery words belied the fear in my heart: _don’t get too involved, and stay there._

I watched you ride away, taking the innocents home.

Our enemies may kill you, or worse: keep you, for the strength of your axe-arm or the fire in your dark eyes.

I would not blame them, or you, if you chose to stay.

I would blame myself. I should have spoken clearer.

Should have added: _for that would kill me._

In the darkness, I strain my ears for the sound of hoofbeats.


	29. Autumn Leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> written for drabble challenge 'Wind in the Trees'

The wind tears at the birch branches

ripping away the few remaining leaves to whirl through the wintry forest

 

Just so did your anger tear at my heart and scatter the scraps of my pride

leaving me cold, my soul stripped bare

sending me out here to weep alone under the unheeding trees

 

But see, on the wet black twigs, the black buds of next year’s catkins cling

tiny stubborn knots, each tightly furled around its secret hope

to live through the bitter winter and awake to kindly spring

 

Perhaps, when the trees bloom again

then so will our love


	30. Just...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai never meant to fight with Arthur...

The wind is cold tonight.

 

You rode away with set face and eyes like flint; no last-minute softening, no backward glance.

No chance for me to recall my harsh words, or to explain –

 

I never meant to look at her so. She was just there...

I never meant to make you angry. I was just looking...

I never meant to become angry in my turn. You were just...

Just wrong. Just hasty. Just infuriating.

 

Just being you.

 

I never meant to hurt you.

 

Come home soon, my love; the boundary stones are just stones.

And the wind is cold tonight.


	31. Fear of Falling

I know that look, Arthur.

Remember? You fell from the hollow oak, ten summers ago.

Looking up from my lower branch, I knew the exact moment your grip gave way; saw your fear turn to indignation, when your big brother couldn’t catch you.

I could only watch; then follow, slowly, to offer clumsy comfort.

Bruised pride hurt you more than your bruised arm.

Now once again you have climbed higher than I, and I will know the exact moment your grip gives way.

This time, I promise, your pride is safe.

I will let go too; we will fall together.


End file.
